Muck Fizzou

The Anti-Missouri Home Base.

Mizzou Pounded by Cocks

Beat up Tiger

Mizzou took a beating this week when they visited South Carolina in their first SEC road game.

It seemed the theme for media outlets this weekend was to see how many different euphemisms for Mizzou’s pitiful loss to South Carolina on Saturday they could come up with.. Words like “thrashed”, “clobbered”, and “crushed” ended up in the following headlines and content. (For the record my fallback headline was “Tigers Slapped Around by Cocks”)

South Carolina Clobbers Mizzou | STL Today

Before more than 80,000 fans at Williams-Brice Stadium, the Gamecocks outclassed the Tigers in every phase of the game, smothering MU’s mistake-prone offense, converting big special-teams plays into points and efficiently dissecting Missouri’s defense.

With the Tigers mustering all of 20 yards of offense in the third quarter and having been outscored 30-0 in the fourth quarters the last two weeks, comeback prospects were bleak entering the final 15 minutes.

South Carolina outgained MU 133-17 in the first quarter

The Tigers had been seeking their first true road against a top 10 team since 1981.

 

Mizzou Upended 31-10 In First SEC Road Trip | Missouri Sports Magazine

Missouri (2-2, 0-2 SEC) struggled on offense as quarterback James Franklin passed for only 92 yards on 11-of-18 passes. Running back Kendial Lawrence was a little more productive on the ground, rushing for 67 yards on 11 carries.

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Mizzerable Fans

"Classy" Mizzou fan pictured with his wife.

“Classy” Mizzou fan pictured with his wife.

When Mizzou decided to switch conferences from the Big 12 to the SEC they tried to convince their new opponents that their fans weren’t as bad as everyone made them out to be. The days of the school band rudely playing over the opponents band were going to go away as well as the lack luster support they showed by refusing to travel to road/bowl games. Surely the students wouldn’t make poorly constructed music videos that insulted both their conference and their own intelligence. The newly motivated fans would show class in face of defeat by refusing to blame everyone but the actual athletes and coaches who had lost the game.

Most of all they would shed their hickish image and leave the camouflage and mullets at home. If Mizzou’s SEC debut was any indication of their progress it seems they might not be able to live up to those promises. Even though their team failed to establish any sort of reputation on the field Mizzou’s fans base was able to leave an impression on these two columnists:

Classless Missouri Tigers have no place in SEC | RedAndBlack.com

A good number of their players were shaken up or injured during the sixty minutes of game play. And every time, we waited patiently for them to make it to the sidelines. But the first time one of our own went down, they booed him incessantly. I had never seen anything like it.

Even the event staff manning the entrance next to our seats thought it was okay to taunt us.

“Wow, this is the SEC? Y’all are terrible. Are you a Braves fan, too? They can’t beat the Cardinals, either.”

After a heated exchange, the scrawny twerp overseeing our section had the nerve to sic a couple of Missouri state troopers on us.

We greatly appreciated the gesture, as it only took us a few minutes to have him escorted out of his own stadium.

The score was 27-20 with eight minutes left in the fourth quarter, and the yellow began flooding out of the stadium.

Seriously? Where was their loyalty? Their team could have still won it all.

Now, maybe they all have crystal balls in the Show Me State. But regardless, the team needed its fans, and its fans were nowhere to be found.

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Another Shitty “Muzzic Video”

The University of Missouri must have started a film program based on creating horrible music videos that embarrass the university. How else can you explain the recent litany of “parody” videos streaming out of the Mizzou campus? If you can make it to through the entire video you are A) blind and/or deaf or B) a masochist.

Abe Lincoln said “It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt”. The SEC was thinking Mizzou were fools before , but now they have no doubt.

Missouri…the Puke State

An blurb from the Pitch explaining on Missouri's former nicknames.

Posted in The Pitch’s column There’s no such thing as a stupid question about KC, right?

It still looks like a bunch on Missourians puked on it.

Welcome to the SEC…bitches!

Georgia football player holds up sign after they thorough beat down Mizzou.

Georgia football player holds up sign after they thoroughly beat down Mizzou in Columbia

 

Mizzou’s SEC debut looked a lot like their play in the Big 12: ugly, over hyped, and unfocused. This game had plenty of story lines. I could talk about Mizzou’s trash talk that never got backed up or their incredible ability to repeatedly shoot themselves in the foot or even their horrendous uniforms (Blind Melon wants their bumble bee costume back), but I’ll let the media do the talking.

Tigers still have far to go | STL Today

Saturday night at Faurot Field was the sort of gawdawful moment that epitomized the wildest dreams and most agonizing nightmares of Tiger lovers everywhere.

No. 7 Georgia Rocks Mizzou 41-20 in SEC Debut | Fox 4 News

Down 27-20 with 8 minutes to play in the fourth quarter, Franklin threw an interception on Mizzou’s 20-yard line. Georgia returned it to the one-yard line, and added a rushing TD to go up 34-20.

On the ensuing drive, Franklin fumbled the ball after being sacked by Georgia defensive tackle Jarvis Jones. The Bulldogs took over on Mizzou’s five-yard line, and quickly put the nail in the coffin with a rushing TD to take a 41-20 lead.

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More Cheating at Mizzou

An STLToday article reveals that two Mizzou doctors plagiarized at least a third of a research paper on irregular heartbeats:

The editor of the medical sciences journal said the similarities between the two papers are “obvious and significant,” according to the blog Retraction Watch, which first reported the incident.

The retraction marks the latest problem for the MU medical school, already under a federal fraud investigation for illegal billing by two radiologists. Dr. Kenneth Rall and Dr. Michael Richards were dismissed in May after an internal audit found they had billed Medicare for services that were performed by residents, doctors who receive specialty training in the three to seven years after medical school.

A STLToday article reports that two Mizzou doctors plagarized a research paper on irregular heartbeats:

At the time, the school’s dean, Dr. Robert Churchill, announced his plans to step down in October after less than three years in the position.

Churchill was brought on as dean in October 2009 after the Accreditation Council for Graduate Medical Education placed the school’s residency programs on probation. The council cited a lack of funds and poor record-keeping as reasons for the probation, an action it hands down to only a few schools each year.

The council also criticized the school for allowing medical residents to take on noneducational duties such as scheduling patient appointments.

While cheating is nothing new at Mizzou it does seem a little odd that these two doctor’s wouldn’t expect anyone to notice a report that uses this much plagiarized material.

It is also interesting that the school’s residency department suffers from “lack of funds” when the school recently announced a $200 million plan to improve the athletic facilities. Maybe they could apply the money they are stealing from war vets to the residency program.

Another Hit and Run QB for Mizzou

Another Mizzou QB Arrested: Maty Mauk

Mizzou Quarterback Maty Mauk was arrested for hit and run, resisting arrest, reckless driving, and failing to stop at a light. Mobile quarterback indeed.

NBC Sports reports that 3rd string QB Maty Mauk was arrested for multiple traffic violations while riding his scooter. This is the third legal incident involving a Mizzou QB this off season. With Corbin Berkstresser’s hit and run arrest and Ashton Glaser’s bizarre arrest after getting punched in the face by a stranger marking the earlier incidents.

From the Tribune:

At 12:17 a.m. MU police spotted Mauk make contact with two vehicles while driving his scooter east on Kentucky Blvd. — with two female passengers on board. Officers attempted to pull Mauk over, but he drove away, turning south on Curtis Ave. and also ran a stop sign, according to the incident report. The officers later found the scooter abandoned between two cars in a parking lot.

Through their investigation, the officers contacted Mauk and he turned himself into MU police headquarters at 11:18 a.m. and was arrested on suspicion of four misdemeanor charges: leaving the scene of a motor vehicle accident, resisting arrest by fleeing a vehicle, operating a vehicle in a reckless manner and failure to observe a traffic control device.

Mauk was able to ditch the meth after parking the scooter and thus avoided the more serious charges that come with driving under the influence (a common Mizzou offense) and possession of a schedule II drug.

 

SEC radio host owns “We Are Mizzou” d-bags

Mizzou has a proud tradition of embarrassing themselves and their move to a new conference hasn’t slowed them down at all. In case you missed the utterly missable “We Are Mizzou” video here’s the skinny: Three of Mizzou’s finest decided to make a “rap” video last December to promote their best basketball team ever which eventually lost in the first round of of the NCAA tournament despite having a #2 seed.

Now that they are ready to start their first season in the SEC the SEC Press Pass sat them down for an interview and they display an impressive lack of knowledge about their new opponents. Just watch:

Enjoy your weekly beatings Mizzou.

Missouri Promotes Innovation…in Meth

Walmart Shoplifter Also had Meth Cooking in Her PurseMissouri is very rarely mentioned in conversations about innovation. However, when it comes to meth Missouri is pushing the envelope on new production techniques. After reclaiming it title as Meth Capital of the USA, a local meth addict was inspired to increase the portability of the destructive drug.

A Riverfront Times report tells the story of Jennifer Vaughn who was caught shop lifting at a Wal-Mart near St. Louis. When police were called to investigate they found a “one-pot meth lab was found simmering in a 20-ounce soda bottle in her purse”.

The University of Missouri is looking into awarding Jennifer an innovation scholarship and hope that she can help elevate the status of the institutions struggling research department.

The accompanying news report from KMOV 4 sheds some light on the incidents.

Mizzou Screws Over War Vets

Mizzou steals tuition from war veterans.“The University of Missouri takes advantage of veterans by refusing to pay for “cost of attendance” under the state’s “Heroes’ Act” tuition benefits, a class action claims in St. Louis County Court.”

” Dunn and two other named plaintiffs say the schools violated the letter and the intent of the Act, which specifically mentions cost of attendance. They also sued the Missouri Coordinating Board for Higher Education.”

Via: Courthouse News Service

Mizzou must be really broke if it has to cheat war vets out of tuition fees.

On Mizzou official was quoted as saying “We figured they were too busy defending our country to notice the money we were taking from them.”