Muck Fizzou

The Anti-Missouri Home Base.

Mizzou head football coach defends Joe Paterno

The leader of the Mizzou’s football team showed his value system not only includes drinking and driving but also that he favors athletic success over human decency.

Pinkel defended Paterno on Tuesday while speaking with reporters at the Southeastern Conference‘s preseason football event. He called the Penn State sex abuse scandal a “tragic situation,” but said Paterno’s legacy shouldn’t be tarnished by the actions of Jerry Sandusky.

Paterno’s former top assistant coach is awaiting sentencing after being convicted last month of sexually abusing 10 boys over 15 years. Paterno died in January of lung cancer at age 85.

“Joe Paterno’s a friend that I got to know professionally, and you can’t take away the greatness of this man,” Pinkel said. “He was a great man. However you analyze this, you can’t erase all that this guy’s done. You can’t do that. Nobody can do that.”

From USA Today: “State lawmaker slams Mizzou coach for defending Joe Paterno”

also see: STLToday.com: “Mo. lawmaker condemns Mizzou coach’s comments”

Missouri: Exporter of Sadness

A quick run down on some key elements that make Missouri what it is.

Via: Comedy Central: Indecision 2012

More Legal Troubles for Mizzou QB’s

Mizzou QB hit and run

Corbin Berkstresser's mugshot

Less than two months after Mizzou QB Ashton Glaser was arrested for being punched in the face  another Mizzou QB, Corbin Berkstresser, was arrested for a hit and run incident when he left the scene after crashing into a parked car.  For a position that relies on making good decisions Mizzou’s quarterbacks seem to be practicing some rather bad judgement…but when your coach is getting DUI’s I guess you don’t have much to look up to.

Mizzou QB, Corbin Berkstresser, smashes car and leaves the scene.

Mizzou QB, Corbin Berkstresser, knows how to deliver a hit.

Source: ColumbiaTribune.com

Missouri: Meth Capital of the US…Again!

Missouri: Meth Capital USA

Might need a bigger banner.

Missouri has reclaimed it’s title of the of Meth Capital USA by recording a whopping 2,096 meth lab busts in 2011. It’s closest competition was Tennessee’s with 1,687 busts. “Missouri had been the nation’s top meth-producing state every year from 2003-2009″ until Tennessee over took them in 2010.

The article also states:

One staggering statistic shows just how prevalent the drug is in Missouri. According to the AP, in 2011, Jefferson County, which is just south of St. Louis County, had 253 seizures. That’s more than Texas, Florida, and California combined. Those three states had a total of 219 meth lab busts.

Overall this is an unprecedented run for a state that is not known for sustained achievement. Maybe Mizzou’s athletic programs could learn a thing or two about winning titles from the large population of meth manufacturers in Missouri.
Source: Missouri regains unwanted claim to fame: Meth Capital | ConnectMidMissouri.com

M-I-Z O-U-T

M-I-Z O-U-T The headline from the KCSTar after Mizzou lost to Norfolk St.

Mizzou is well known for doing two (and two things only) things well 1)talk shit and 2)under achieve. This usually makes for a rather annoying regular season and rather gratifying post season. This year’s basketball team proved to be no different. Despite playing a horrible strength of schedule during the non-conference season and not winning the Big12 conference Mizzou fans still insisted that their streak of never making it the Final Four (second winningest team in the Tourney never to make a FF) would end this year.

They point to a Big 12 tournament title as proof enough that belong in the same conversation as Kentucky, Syracuse, and North Carolina. To them winning the Big 12 tournament was a greater feat than winning a conference championship consisting of 18 regular season games over two and half months at both home and away venues. Surely the NCAA would recognize the greatness of beating unranked Oklahoma St, unranked Texas, and Baylor. A number one seed was theirs for the taking, right?

Wrong! The NCAA selection committee ended up giving the tigers the LAST 2 seed. So what would Mizzou do with an easy match-up and chip on their shoulder?…choke. Mizzou’s loss to 15 seed Norfolk St. was just the fourth time in NCAA history that a 15 seed has beaten a 2 seed.

Here are some media reactions from around the country.

Shock and Dismay for Mizzou | STLToday.com

Mizzou misery, Norfolk elation show it’s March | STLToday.com

Five Reasons Mizzou Fell So Soon | BleacherReport.com

Another Punch Jolts Mizzou Fans | STLToday.com

Mizzou QB Punched In Face, Then Arrested

Mug shot of Mizzou QB Ashton Glaser

Another Mizzou mug shot

Ashton Glaser, Mizzou’s back up quarterback, was arrested for outstanding warrants after a unknown assailant punched him the face (Source: CBS ST Louis). The attending officer’s investigated the assault but upon learning about the outstanding warrants arrested Glaser. The officer’s stated that punching a Mizzou player is not arrestable offense beacus ether bring on themselves.

When asked about the incident head football coach Gary Pinkel expressed disappointment that Glaser didn’t get arrested for a real crime like a drinking and driving. “That’s why he’s the back-up.”

 

Missouri is Mizerable…literally

According to the  most recent Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index, Missouri is miserable. The 8th most miserable state in fact. The poll was combined with other census data to find the most miserable states to live in. Factors that were taken into account were life expectancy, physical health, work environment, income and education.

Here is the breakdown for Missouri (source: 24/7 Wall St.)

8. Missouri
> Well-being index score: 64.8
> Life expectancy: 77.4 (12th lowest)
> Obesity: 30.5% (10th highest)
> Median household income: $44,301 (14th lowest)
> Adult population with high school diploma or higher: 86.9% (22nd lowest)

Between 2010 and 2011, Missouri’s well-being score went from 17th worst in the country to eighth worst. Conditions in the state declined in every category Gallup measured. Missouri residents polled rated their emotional health as 14th worst in the country, down from 25th worst last year. The state also declined from 18th worst in life evaluation to third worst in the country. The state has the 11th-highest rate of smokers in the country at 21.1%. Heart disease, cancer and diabetes rates are all among the top 20, and life expectancy in the state is 77.4 years, the 12th lowest in the U.S.

It is also interesting to note that 7 SEC states were listed in the top 10:

#2 Kentucky
#3 Mississippi
#6 Alabama
#7 Arkansas
#8 Missouri
#9 Florida
#10 Tennessee

Apparently being good at college football doesn’t improve you quality of life.

 

 

 

 

 

Border War Propaganda

They say a picture is worth a thousand words and the Border War brings up a lot of words that are usually reserved for back alley brawls. I was impressed with the level of content Jayhawk Nation created this season and thought it only appropriate to show them off here.

Thomas Robinson swats away Mizzou's Big 12 title hopes.

Thomas Robinson swats away Mizzou's Big 12 title hopes.

Demotivational poster about Mizzou's inability to succeed.

Baby Jayhawk Makes Baby Mizzou Cry

This Mizzou fan actually took the loss better than most.

Read More…

Schadenfreude

Schadenfreude is a German word that means “pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others”. Since no one has more misfortunes than Mizzou this post gathers images of these events so we can all have a good laugh.

I think Cartman illustrates this concept the best in this clip:

So without further ado here are the lozzers.

There's no Z in crying.

Tiger tears...delicious!

Mizzou guard Phil Pressey crying to officials

If at first you don't succeed cry, cry again.

Steve Moore lets his insignificance sink in.

Steve Moore lets his insignificance sink in.

Actor John Hamm had reason to cry after his team blew a 19 point lead in the final Border War.

Actor John Hamm had reason to cry after his team blew a 19 point lead in the final Border War.

Mizzou softball players crying after a loss.

Mizzou's best athletic program continues the streak of no championships.

Mizzou fan hides face at Insight Bowl

Insight Bowl

Is this what "success" looks like?

Tigers lose 78-63 to Cincinnati Bearcats in the first round of the NCAA Tournament

Read More…