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Tiger’s Celebrate Mediocrity

A shirt that celebrates Mizzou's win over 1-8 Kentucky

Mizzou commemorates it’s win over 1-8 Kentucky with a t-shirt.

Mizzou, the once proud (in their own mind) program is so desperate to celebrate some aspect of it’s football season that they have produced a shirt commemorating their win over the 1-8 Kentucky football program.

Out Kick the Coverage has a pretty entertaining write up on the shirts and the patheticness they represent.

Mizzou’s Michael Dixon Suspended Indefinitely

Apparently being an over achiever on the court didn’t transfer to the classroom as Mizzou’s Michael Dixon has been suspended indefinitely until he gets his shit together.

Haith added that Dixon, a projected starter, has not been participating in practice recently in order to work on academics. Haith said his decision to suspend both has been in the works for “a couple weeks.”

Suspended for the first exhibition game against Northwest Missouri State it has been just announced that Dixon will miss the next exhibition game too. Mizzou is looking to improve upon it’s epic first round melt down in last year’s NCAA tournament where they lost to Norfolk State as number two seed.

Read more here:

Mizzou’s Mike Dixon, Dominique Bull suspended indefinitely
| Kansas City Star

Mizzou suspends Dixon, Bull | STL Today

Mizzou Athletics Official Charges $7,600 on School Credit Card

More Tiger's at the strip club.

Another Tiger was caught doing something dumb at a strip club.

With Mizzou’s history of dumbfounding indiscretion it should come as no surprise today that a standard audit of the Athletic Department’s business function revealed a $7,600 charge at a Las Vegas strip club. Michael Schumacher, the offending Tiger, had such a good time that he left a $2,000 dollar tip on the school’s dime.

While it is not a shock to hear news of Tiger’s getting caught doing stupid things, it is interesting that an athletic’s official would be so careless while Frank Haith is under investigation for taking players to strip clubs with prominent booster Nevin Shapiro while coaching at Miami.

I guess a Tiger can’t change it’s strips…er, stripes.


Mizzou’s director of video operations charged $7,600 strip club bill to university credit card | Yahoo! Sports

Mizzou tightens credit card use | ESPN

Michael Schumacher, Mizzou Athletics Official, Charged $7,600 At Vegas Strip Club | Huffington Post

Crimson Tide Drown Mizzou

Another week in the SEC equals another loss for Mizzou. This time at the hands of an opponent only the most delusional Tiger fan thought they had a chance to beat, Alabama. It was a rain soaked afternoon where nothing went right for Mizzou from turnovers, missed tackles, poor decisions to this play by LaMichael Fanning, a Alabama defense player, who upended MU running back Russell Hansbrough with a WWF style move:

With 3 of Mizzou;s 4 SEC losses coming at home it appears that the notoriously poor traveling fan base has failed to show up to home games as well. The good news for the Tiger’s is that they cannot add to the L column this as they are on a bye.

Here is what the media had to say about Saturday’s dismal performance by the Tigers:

Mizzou run over by Alabama | MissourNet

The #1 ranked Alabama Crimson Tide outgained Mizzou 533-126 and gained 362 yards on the ground with six rushing touchdowns in a 42-10 final at Faurot Field. Eddie Lacy rushed for 178 yards and three scores and T.J. Yeldon added 144 yards and two scores.

Lacy and Yeldon each scored two touchdowns in the first 24:20 of the game before lightning delayed the game for 40 minutes.

Bama’s run game finds its footing against Mizzou | STL Today

if you add the distance he (Bama RB Lacy) covered cutting across the field while outrunning much of the Mizzou defense, Lacy certainly topped 100 yards on that one carry.

That’s not something the junior does routinely given a full game. But his career-high 177 yards were the most glaring indictment of a Mizzou defense that had been fairly solid.

Read More…

SEC Doormat Walks All Over Mizzou

Vanderbilt embarrasses Mizzou

Vanderbilt defensive tackle Barron Dixon (44) celebrates with teammates after they defeated Missouri 19-15, Saturday, Oct. 6, 2012, in Columbia, Mo. (AP Photo/L.G. Patterson)

Both Vanderbilt and Mizzou were looking for their first SEC win of the season coming into this weekend’s match up and it was the visiting team that went home with a victory. With an 0-2 SEC record you could sense the desperation from the Tiger’s leading up to their game with the Commodores who are just 121-382-18 since joining the SEC:

Missouri targets Vandy for first SEC win | STL Today

If MU can’t win at home against a Vandy team averaging fewer than 10 points a game in FBS play, the Tigers will be making a dramatic statement about just how far they have to go be significant in the SEC.

“It’s about time we get one,” MU defensive tackle Sheldon Richardson said. “We need one right now.”

The Tigers’ first-team unit has produced just two touchdowns in the last nine quarters.

he (Pinkel) expressed concern that a certain “anxiety” arises when an offense struggles as players are “almost waiting for somebody to drop the football or miss a block.”

But unless it creates some breakthroughs to produce its first SEC win today, MU will start being seen as less “a player” in the league than as a distant wannabe.

The must win game apparently did not move Tiger fans to support their team by actually attending the home game at Faurot Field as ticket sales were well short of a sell out in one the SEC smallest stadiums:

Weak fan support for Tigers is embarrassing | KMOV Channel 4

We hear for months how fan support is going to increase so that we can hopefully fit in the SEC picture.  Unless some large spike in support happens in between now and Saturday’s game against Vanderbilt, Mizzou will fail to sellout its second-ever SEC home game.

Mizzou could face some harsh ridicule from other SEC school fans.  It should also be noted that Faurot Field is the tenth largest-capacity stadium in the SEC.  So from where I’m sitting, we have our second-ever SEC home game, in an already undersized SEC-stadium, and will most likely not sellout the game.

Here’s a taste of what the media thinks of the SEC’s new pinata team:

Vandy hands Mizzou demoralizing defeat | STL Today

Challenging any lingering optimism about its debut season in the Southeastern Conference and calling into doubt its ability to reach an eighth straight bowl game, Mizzou tumbled to perennial SEC also-ran Vanderbilt 19-15 Saturday night at Faurot Field.

With the demoralizing defeat to one of the few SEC foes MU figured to beat, the Tigers fell to 3-3 overall and 0-3 in SEC play in its much-anticipated first season in the league as top-ranked Alabama comes calling next.

Read More…

Racist Missouri Looking for Another Dubious Title

After reclaiming their title of Meth Capital USA several months ago Missouri is once again looking to add to it’s resume. This time the Show Me State is trotting out St. Louis to be in the running for The Most Racist City in America. runs down a pretty comprehensive list of St. Louis’ racist qualities including:

Missouri: The Show Me Racism State

Missouri: The Show Me Racism State

While these events point out the city’s racist past, the comments section of the article paints a more descriptive tale of St. Louis’ racist present.

St. Louis is the obvious crown jewel in Missouri’s racist crown, but don’t discount the rest of the state including Columbia which is steeped in racist tradition from Quantrill’s raid’s of town’s that didn’t support slavery to their current campus shenanigans:

Mizzou football fans in black face

Mizzou football fans in black face.

For more on the subject of Missouri racism check out the following articles:

Missouri National Guard Investigates Another Soldier’s Alleged Racist Ties

What’s the most racist city in Missouri?

Missouri Half Way To Being Annoying Obviously Racist State Who Pretends Not To Be

Mizzou Pounded by Cocks

Beat up Tiger

Mizzou took a beating this week when they visited South Carolina in their first SEC road game.

It seemed the theme for media outlets this weekend was to see how many different euphemisms for Mizzou’s pitiful loss to South Carolina on Saturday they could come up with.. Words like “thrashed”, “clobbered”, and “crushed” ended up in the following headlines and content. (For the record my fallback headline was “Tigers Slapped Around by Cocks”)

South Carolina Clobbers Mizzou | STL Today

Before more than 80,000 fans at Williams-Brice Stadium, the Gamecocks outclassed the Tigers in every phase of the game, smothering MU’s mistake-prone offense, converting big special-teams plays into points and efficiently dissecting Missouri’s defense.

With the Tigers mustering all of 20 yards of offense in the third quarter and having been outscored 30-0 in the fourth quarters the last two weeks, comeback prospects were bleak entering the final 15 minutes.

South Carolina outgained MU 133-17 in the first quarter

The Tigers had been seeking their first true road against a top 10 team since 1981.


Mizzou Upended 31-10 In First SEC Road Trip | Missouri Sports Magazine

Missouri (2-2, 0-2 SEC) struggled on offense as quarterback James Franklin passed for only 92 yards on 11-of-18 passes. Running back Kendial Lawrence was a little more productive on the ground, rushing for 67 yards on 11 carries.

Read More…

Mizzerable Fans

"Classy" Mizzou fan pictured with his wife.

“Classy” Mizzou fan pictured with his wife.

When Mizzou decided to switch conferences from the Big 12 to the SEC they tried to convince their new opponents that their fans weren’t as bad as everyone made them out to be. The days of the school band rudely playing over the opponents band were going to go away as well as the lack luster support they showed by refusing to travel to road/bowl games. Surely the students wouldn’t make poorly constructed music videos that insulted both their conference and their own intelligence. The newly motivated fans would show class in face of defeat by refusing to blame everyone but the actual athletes and coaches who had lost the game.

Most of all they would shed their hickish image and leave the camouflage and mullets at home. If Mizzou’s SEC debut was any indication of their progress it seems they might not be able to live up to those promises. Even though their team failed to establish any sort of reputation on the field Mizzou’s fans base was able to leave an impression on these two columnists:

Classless Missouri Tigers have no place in SEC |

A good number of their players were shaken up or injured during the sixty minutes of game play. And every time, we waited patiently for them to make it to the sidelines. But the first time one of our own went down, they booed him incessantly. I had never seen anything like it.

Even the event staff manning the entrance next to our seats thought it was okay to taunt us.

“Wow, this is the SEC? Y’all are terrible. Are you a Braves fan, too? They can’t beat the Cardinals, either.”

After a heated exchange, the scrawny twerp overseeing our section had the nerve to sic a couple of Missouri state troopers on us.

We greatly appreciated the gesture, as it only took us a few minutes to have him escorted out of his own stadium.

The score was 27-20 with eight minutes left in the fourth quarter, and the yellow began flooding out of the stadium.

Seriously? Where was their loyalty? Their team could have still won it all.

Now, maybe they all have crystal balls in the Show Me State. But regardless, the team needed its fans, and its fans were nowhere to be found.

Read More…

Welcome to the SEC…bitches!

Georgia football player holds up sign after they thorough beat down Mizzou.

Georgia football player holds up sign after they thoroughly beat down Mizzou in Columbia


Mizzou’s SEC debut looked a lot like their play in the Big 12: ugly, over hyped, and unfocused. This game had plenty of story lines. I could talk about Mizzou’s trash talk that never got backed up or their incredible ability to repeatedly shoot themselves in the foot or even their horrendous uniforms (Blind Melon wants their bumble bee costume back), but I’ll let the media do the talking.

Tigers still have far to go | STL Today

Saturday night at Faurot Field was the sort of gawdawful moment that epitomized the wildest dreams and most agonizing nightmares of Tiger lovers everywhere.

No. 7 Georgia Rocks Mizzou 41-20 in SEC Debut | Fox 4 News

Down 27-20 with 8 minutes to play in the fourth quarter, Franklin threw an interception on Mizzou’s 20-yard line. Georgia returned it to the one-yard line, and added a rushing TD to go up 34-20.

On the ensuing drive, Franklin fumbled the ball after being sacked by Georgia defensive tackle Jarvis Jones. The Bulldogs took over on Mizzou’s five-yard line, and quickly put the nail in the coffin with a rushing TD to take a 41-20 lead.

Read More…

Missouri Promotes Innovation…in Meth

Walmart Shoplifter Also had Meth Cooking in Her PurseMissouri is very rarely mentioned in conversations about innovation. However, when it comes to meth Missouri is pushing the envelope on new production techniques. After reclaiming it title as Meth Capital of the USA, a local meth addict was inspired to increase the portability of the destructive drug.

A Riverfront Times report tells the story of Jennifer Vaughn who was caught shop lifting at a Wal-Mart near St. Louis. When police were called to investigate they found a “one-pot meth lab was found simmering in a 20-ounce soda bottle in her purse”.

The University of Missouri is looking into awarding Jennifer an innovation scholarship and hope that she can help elevate the status of the institutions struggling research department.

The accompanying news report from KMOV 4 sheds some light on the incidents.