Archive | Sports

More Legal Troubles for Mizzou QB’s

Mizzou QB hit and run

Corbin Berkstresser's mugshot

Less than two months after Mizzou QB Ashton Glaser was arrested for being punched in the face  another Mizzou QB, Corbin Berkstresser, was arrested for a hit and run incident when he left the scene after crashing into a parked car.  For a position that relies on making good decisions Mizzou’s quarterbacks seem to be practicing some rather bad judgement…but when your coach is getting DUI’s I guess you don’t have much to look up to.

Mizzou QB, Corbin Berkstresser, smashes car and leaves the scene.

Mizzou QB, Corbin Berkstresser, knows how to deliver a hit.



M-I-Z O-U-T The headline from the KCSTar after Mizzou lost to Norfolk St.

Mizzou is well known for doing two (and two things only) things well 1)talk shit and 2)under achieve. This usually makes for a rather annoying regular season and rather gratifying post season. This year’s basketball team proved to be no different. Despite playing a horrible strength of schedule during the non-conference season and not winning the Big12 conference Mizzou fans still insisted that their streak of never making it the Final Four (second winningest team in the Tourney never to make a FF) would end this year.

They point to a Big 12 tournament title as proof enough that belong in the same conversation as Kentucky, Syracuse, and North Carolina. To them winning the Big 12 tournament was a greater feat than winning a conference championship consisting of 18 regular season games over two and half months at both home and away venues. Surely the NCAA would recognize the greatness of beating unranked Oklahoma St, unranked Texas, and Baylor. A number one seed was theirs for the taking, right?

Wrong! The NCAA selection committee ended up giving the tigers the LAST 2 seed. So what would Mizzou do with an easy match-up and chip on their shoulder?…choke. Mizzou’s loss to 15 seed Norfolk St. was just the fourth time in NCAA history that a 15 seed has beaten a 2 seed.

Here are some media reactions from around the country.

Shock and Dismay for Mizzou |

Mizzou misery, Norfolk elation show it’s March |

Five Reasons Mizzou Fell So Soon |

Another Punch Jolts Mizzou Fans |

Mizzou QB Punched In Face, Then Arrested

Mug shot of Mizzou QB Ashton Glaser

Another Mizzou mug shot

Ashton Glaser, Mizzou’s back up quarterback, was arrested for outstanding warrants after a unknown assailant punched him the face (Source: CBS ST Louis). The attending officer’s investigated the assault but upon learning about the outstanding warrants arrested Glaser. The officer’s stated that punching a Mizzou player is not arrestable offense beacus ether bring on themselves.

When asked about the incident head football coach Gary Pinkel expressed disappointment that Glaser didn’t get arrested for a real crime like a drinking and driving. “That’s why he’s the back-up.”


Missouri is Mizerable…literally

According to the  most recent Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index, Missouri is miserable. The 8th most miserable state in fact. The poll was combined with other census data to find the most miserable states to live in. Factors that were taken into account were life expectancy, physical health, work environment, income and education.

Here is the breakdown for Missouri (source: 24/7 Wall St.)

8. Missouri
> Well-being index score: 64.8
> Life expectancy: 77.4 (12th lowest)
> Obesity: 30.5% (10th highest)
> Median household income: $44,301 (14th lowest)
> Adult population with high school diploma or higher: 86.9% (22nd lowest)

Between 2010 and 2011, Missouri’s well-being score went from 17th worst in the country to eighth worst. Conditions in the state declined in every category Gallup measured. Missouri residents polled rated their emotional health as 14th worst in the country, down from 25th worst last year. The state also declined from 18th worst in life evaluation to third worst in the country. The state has the 11th-highest rate of smokers in the country at 21.1%. Heart disease, cancer and diabetes rates are all among the top 20, and life expectancy in the state is 77.4 years, the 12th lowest in the U.S.

It is also interesting to note that 7 SEC states were listed in the top 10:

#2 Kentucky
#3 Mississippi
#6 Alabama
#7 Arkansas
#8 Missouri
#9 Florida
#10 Tennessee

Apparently being good at college football doesn’t improve you quality of life.







Schadenfreude is a German word that means “pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others”. Since no one has more misfortunes than Mizzou this post gathers images of these events so we can all have a good laugh.

I think Cartman illustrates this concept the best in this clip:

So without further ado here are the lozzers.

There's no Z in crying.

Tiger tears...delicious!

Mizzou guard Phil Pressey crying to officials

If at first you don't succeed cry, cry again.

Steve Moore lets his insignificance sink in.

Steve Moore lets his insignificance sink in.

Actor John Hamm had reason to cry after his team blew a 19 point lead in the final Border War.

Actor John Hamm had reason to cry after his team blew a 19 point lead in the final Border War.

Mizzou softball players crying after a loss.

Mizzou's best athletic program continues the streak of no championships.

Mizzou fan hides face at Insight Bowl

Insight Bowl

Is this what "success" looks like?

Tigers lose 78-63 to Cincinnati Bearcats in the first round of the NCAA Tournament

Read More…

A Handshake and…


Mike Alden shakes the hands of each referee after a generously called game.

Mike Alden shakes the hands of each referee after a generously called game.

I find this video interesting in that MU Athletic Director shakes each of the officials hands who called a questionable game against Kansas in the final installment of the Border War in Mizzou’s Paige Arena. If I were him I would do everything possible to not lose that game.

“We Are Mizzou” Indeed

Leave it to Mizzou to find new ways to embarrass themselves. I think this video speaks for itself.

If the SEC wasn’t already nervous about letting Mizzou into their conference this are now. From their bumbled conference switch announcement, to their NCAA leading DUI football team the Big 12 is happy to let this headache walk out the door.

It is so bad that even other Mizzou students are distancing them selves from it:
We Are Mizzou, but not the viral video

The Kansas rebuttal didn’t stoop to that level of crappy rap video, but rather pointed out the idiocy of the original. That is in fact the definition of satire.

Mizzou Football Coach Arrested for DWI

Gary Drinkel head football coach at Mizzou
It always amazes me how good the University of Missouri is at finding trouble. If it’s not hiring a head basketball coach accused of paying players it’s their football team drinking and driving like it’s going out of style. Now we know where they get it.

Missouri head football coach Gary Pinkel was arrested on November 16 for a DWI offense. You can see the quite comical sobriety test below. Some high lights include when he is asked to count backward form 73 to 62 he responds “I can’t do that normally, are you kidding me?”

You should expect to see plenty of “Gary Drinkel” signs at Mizzou road games form now on.

Big 12 Upgrade

News that the SEC will be taking Mizzou off the Big 12’s hands has been coupled with a report that West Virginia will join the Big 12 in 2013-14. With this the Big 12 has managed to unload one of it’s least desired assets and land a school that can make Final Fours and BCS Bowls. Even better than trading a good athletic school for a mediocre one, the Big 12 has finally rid itself of Mizzou fans. Big win for the Big 12.
Fat Mizzou girls for passionate West Virginia fans

Mizzou’s SEC Application

Muck Fizzou has obtained a copy of Mizzou’s application to join the SEC. Looks like they will fit right in.
Mizzou's application to join the SEC

Questions via: Saturday Night Slant